Saturday, August 7, 2010

Fallen from Grace...




I feel a story coming out and as much as I'd like to keep it to myself for now, it seems to be busting out at the seams to be told. At this point I'm 92% sure I'm not going to pursue this person, simply because she is so grief laden. To me she represents an accident waiting to happen. With this in mind and my past history, this fish is going to be thrown back, so I may fish for a healthier choice.

A few years ago, I wrote a story entitled, "Those aren't Earrings, those are my Jowls". It told a story about a woman that I met from the dating service that hated everyone in her life, including her dog and the only reason I wanted to meet her, was because I didn't believe such a hateful person could exist. I was wrong about her and she certainly was a mean angry person and so is Gracie, my newest friend. My new acquaintance came about like this. I saw this profile and one of the online dating services and my first reaction was that she was a child. How could this little girl be 54 years old? Then, I noticed she was Jewish, which usually gives me a commonality to begin a dialogue with. I heard a voice over my shoulder and it was my mother, who has been dead for 23 years saying, "She looks nice"! So I dropped her a line and told her I thought she was cute and I also am of the Jewish faith (when convenient) and I'd like to hear back from her.

Several hours later, I get a response that reads, "You say you're Jewish, but your profile says Catholic, which is it"? Then it goes on to say, you've lived an interesting life, being from South Africa, why Phoenix? My reaction is, she's obviously read someone else's profile and responded to me. Immediately another response comes and it says, I don't dance............ever! (Who asked her?) So I reply, what is the obvious and the following day she apologizes, as she is new on the website and doesn't know her way around it yet. The she says a few things and this line was included that I personally thought was very funny and if she was that funny, I almost liked her. " I hate everything goisha (gentile) you know like lime jello and ham with fruit cocktail poured over it,french fries with mayonnaise,beer,the Easter bunny, and bad decorating." She might be my very first reverse anti-Semite. That somewhat comical line, won me over, temporarily. We wrote back and forth a few times and at about 11 PM that night, I was in bed reading and got this email. "I'm up, here is my phone number, call me." I ran to the computer, Googled the number, learned her name and address and her age of 54 was correct. Climbing back in bed, I dialed the number, it went to voicemail and I left a message, thinking all the while, WTF??? She just wrote to me and said to call and then she doesn't answer? Another whack job!

I had no intention of ever calling that number again, when yesterday afternoon, around 2 PM, she called and I didn't answer, as I didn't recognize the number. She leaves a very pleasant message explaining that neither of her phones were on the cradle and evidently had dead batteries when I called the evening before. Well, that is an explanation, isn't it? She was a s-l-o-w t-a-l-k-e-r and I usually like that.

Finding a comfortable place on my sofa, I returned the call. She answered with, "Hello, how did you get this number?" I explained that this is the number she left me, how do you THINK I got it? (Slowly tightening the laces on my boxing gloves). She said, "Oh, some guy called me once and told me he got my number from the Internet, he hoped I didn't mind. Immediately I realized I was not dealing with a scientist of any sort. Conversation flowed evenly as she began a list of the things and people in her life that she hated. It included every-fucking-one! She chose to begin the conversation my telling me her family was extremely wealthy and then she used the Yiddish word that I'd not heard in many years, she said they were "unga-stupt" with money. That means "overly stuffed". They had servants and her mother always had a "Schvartzy". A schvartzy is an African-American female, meaning a maid. I was literally appalled, but said nothing, as I continued to listen to this hateful, slow talker. She hates her father who was a crook and at 32 her life changed forever. I asked what happened. Her Mom and Dad got divorced and her father married a much younger woman and cut Gracie off financially. Up until she was 32, her father supported her entirely. I'm silently gagging. She divorced her gentile husband that took up drinking and beat her (I would too, just kidding). She immediately stopped talking to him and sued him for funds to go to college and lost. She went back to school and became a psychiatric nurse, but quit working when she was accosted by a sick inmate and refuses to go back to work. Her mother then married a wealthy older man and resumed supporting her and she is living happily ever after.

At some point I couldn't take it anymore and said, the whole thing is absurd! People don't live off of their parents ongoingly unless they're handicapped! I was getting outraged. There was dead silence until she said she had to get ready for a date and we parted. I thought after we hung up, how does a person get to the point where their sense of entitlement overcomes their sense creativity? Another one bites the dust.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK, I get to be catty here...For someone like her that doesn't like bad decorating, etc, she should know that NOBODY should wear denim top AND bottom, esp the same color. Jeans and different color denim jacket is doable. Why do I have to point out the obvious to you though....LOL