Friday, August 6, 2010

Two Experiences with RATS

Well it's not like I just hopped off the bus. Fact is, I've been here 36 years now. Seen all kinds of critters. Anything from Coyotes crossing the road on a lonely stretch of the 101 at around dawn. Or going 4-Wheeling in the desert and happening upon a Gila Monster coming out of his den. Bob cats that aren't from Tucson and desert toads the size of an NFL football. But the last time I saw a rat, was back in Chicago, because they're a result of overpopulation.

Today I had the occasion of dealing 2 different rats in two different situations. Just now, I came from taking out the trash to the dumpster that I keep in a shady place just behind the front gate and to my surprise and literal frickin' shock, met up with a pretty good sized rat, travelling along the top of the block fence. First he came up behind me and I really didn't know what it was, but soon I could see his hideous outline in the moonlight and got a chill down my spine. When he got to the gate, he had reached his dead end and quickly turned and was running right towards me. As I took a defensive pose, I couldn't help but notice a little pee came out, in my otherwise rather clean white shorts. The dirty rat ran within 12 inches of my face as I thought to myself, what if he panics and jumps on my head? He didn't, but I did make a mental note to carry my 25 Beretta with me whenever taking out the garbage.

My second rat weighs about 350 LBS and he comes in the form of my slimy, cash extorting, land lord. On Wednesday, I received a registered letter telling me he was going to enforce his land lord right and start the eviction process if he doesn't receive my $150 within 10 days. My initial reaction is that he's just trying to extort money from me with threats of homelessness. After investigating my lease with people in the legal field, I find that I am not liable for fines incurred by local HOA, as a non member and if he is to award me with this violation that incidentally never occurred, he needs to compensate me with financial benefit. In other words, if I cut his lawn, he needs to pay me for my labor, if I pay his violation fee of $150, he needs to pay me back for it. Only he doesn't see it that way and frankly, I'd rather give the "Rat" his cheese than go to court over such a small amount of money. I realized it just wasn't worth the amount of thought I'd already given it. It appears that to win the battle does not constitute winning the war. It also is said, "that a man who pays his rent reliably and gets harassed by his land lord, has a fool for a land lord". Henry David Thoreau & Me

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