Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Inventing Foods...

In my severe boredom of Vertigo, I've decided to be creative. I knew I was hungry and owned hamburger meat from last weeks shopping fiasco at Fry's. Since then, I've learned even more. I learned to read the ads THEN go shopping instead of going shopping and then learning of the mistakes I've made, by reading the ads. For example, last week after shopping and coming home to the ads, I learned that hamburger meat WAS on sale, the 93-7% variety, for $1.99 a LB. I paid $3.33 a LB for the cheaper cut of 85-15% variety. Big blaring error! I took the hamburger meat and browned it in a frying pan and rendered enough oil to service my car! And I've still got enough of that hamburger to open a Quick Lube.

I dried the meat as much as possible and added tomato sauce to it, seasoning it with a few spices front the bottom shelf, Cayenne pepper, Chile powder and dried onions.. I cooked it for a long time and wondered what I had. It smelled like tacos, so I spread it over a flour tortilla and made a spicy cheese covered baked taco pizza. Not bad! spiced it up even more with salsa and was pretty pleased with my creation.

Today, at the same store, I already knew that milk was on sale 10 for $10 half gallons and the burger meat I'd already mentioned. I bought 8 LB of tubed hamburger meat and was pushing my cart towards the bean section, because my same hamburger recipe smelled a little like spaghetti sauce, so I ate a bunch of it over pasta and it was also GREAT! An actual light bulb was sighted over my head when I realized the difference between what I've been creating and Chile was merely beans. So I bought a couple of cans of beans for tonight's dinner. It's okay, I'll be eating alone!

Suddenly at Fry's, I thought I was walking towards a mirror because there straight ahead, in front of me was a man about my age, you know, Viet Nam era and in his cart were ten, 1/2 gallons of milk and four, 2 LB packages of hamburger meat. I wanted to give him a high five, realizing he had read the flyer BEFORE shopping too!

Today I brought my glasses. I proudly approached the self serve check out, knowing full well I had purchased tomatoes and onions that would require an ID number, but I felt I was ready for this test of intelligence. I actually figured out a scam for anyone interested. What's to stop a guy from buying one Roma tomato to use for it's secret code and stuffing the rest of your bag with the expensive Vine grown variety? I'll tell you how they prevent that. There at the check out area, stood a woman the size of a doorway, with arms that could cripple a would-be thief in a split second. I shuddered to think of the damage she could do to an average dishonest geriatric thief. It was the straight and narrow for me! I supplied all of the answers to the machines questions and followed all of the rule, even supplying my my Fry's VIP card as well as my credit card for payment. With a sense of pride, I exited and even replaced my shopping cart in the prescribed area. I felt like such a.......................citizen! Now I have to freeze ten 1/2 gallons of milk and pray they don't explode.


Jamie said...

I hope you're feeling way better by now. :)

Things I Left Behind said...

Jamie, I am feeling better and thank you for your inquiry. I just can't seem to sleep tonight. You're up early, as usual.