I had many chores assigned to me today and just one of then included the purchase of a turkey for Thursday's upcoming celebration. My assigner was very adamant about what turkey to purchase and where this purchase was to take place. I was told in no uncertain terms to purchase the first turkey that I lay my hands on, as it makes no difference whatsoever and to purchase said turkey from Fry's at a cost of 47 cent a pound.
Not wanting to upset the assigner, I did precisely as I was told. I drove to Fry's Supermarket and parked and that in and of itself was no easy feat. Every appetite in town was out to purchase a turkey in time for it to thaw by Thursday, rendering today T-Day! I entered the store and had to scramble for a cart, as the only one left looked like it had been in a recent accident offering sticky candy wrappers in it's basket. I found one unattended and grabbed it and ran!
Thrift minded shoppers were 3 deep at the counter that offered turkeys, with a large sign over the counter that explained the pricing. Jenneo Turkeys we 47 cent a pound and Butterballs were 79 cents a pound and it went up from there. Nowhere, visible to me, did it say anything about weight limits or quantities. With enough room for only one arm, I dug in and grabbed one that looked like about the size my mother used to buy. It was in pretty deep and I think I broke the trim around the counter pulling it out, as it made a rather loud snapping noise as I broke it loose. As I pulled it out, the crowd made a noise of admiration, AHHHH and I pushed it into my cart, as if to say in unison, "nice choice"! I proudly grabbed an 18 pack of Farm Fresh eggs and made my way to the cashier, that was about mobbed by anxious shoppers. I waited my turn and observed a man being chastised by the cashier. She had even brought in a manager to talk to the gentleman that was arguing about being charged over 3 times what the advertised price said. The manager pulled out an ad and was showing the gentleman that the price of turkeys OVER 20 LB is $1.49 a pound.
I tapped the cashier on the shoulder and asked if mine was over 20 LB and she said yes it was 25 LB. and $1.49 per pound. I grabbed it and ran back to the turkey counter where they never thought they'd see me again and rummaged through the dead birds again. I realized I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of seeing the price or the weight of these dead birds when suddenly, as if she had dropped out of heaven, standing in front of me was the wife of the Rabbi that lives across from me! In a true panic, I said Michele can you read the weight of this bird? She said she had no idea I shopped there and it was 15 LB. She was just glad I was letting go of her arm, I hope I didn't leave a mark! I ran to the cashier as if to say, did I still have my place in line? It was clear that I didn't. I spotted a break in the isle next to mine and walked over to it with my dead frozen bird and her eggs and as I was about to enter that lane, a little lady carrying to 2 quarts of Budweiser smiled and walked in front of me. I thought about knocking her to the ground and going ahead of her, but the Christmas spirit was too strong for me as I smiled, longing to be in her place. At that point I was thinking of killing her for her beer!
As the cashier asked for my VIP card, I thought to myself, I feel like anything but a VIP right this minute, but when she told me that I had purchased a dead turkey and 18 eggs for a whopping $9.53, I rejoiced! Skipping, I made it out to the parking lot where I found my trusty steed, mounting her, I galloped home, a VICTOR!!!
Not wanting to upset the assigner, I did precisely as I was told. I drove to Fry's Supermarket and parked and that in and of itself was no easy feat. Every appetite in town was out to purchase a turkey in time for it to thaw by Thursday, rendering today T-Day! I entered the store and had to scramble for a cart, as the only one left looked like it had been in a recent accident offering sticky candy wrappers in it's basket. I found one unattended and grabbed it and ran!
Thrift minded shoppers were 3 deep at the counter that offered turkeys, with a large sign over the counter that explained the pricing. Jenneo Turkeys we 47 cent a pound and Butterballs were 79 cents a pound and it went up from there. Nowhere, visible to me, did it say anything about weight limits or quantities. With enough room for only one arm, I dug in and grabbed one that looked like about the size my mother used to buy. It was in pretty deep and I think I broke the trim around the counter pulling it out, as it made a rather loud snapping noise as I broke it loose. As I pulled it out, the crowd made a noise of admiration, AHHHH and I pushed it into my cart, as if to say in unison, "nice choice"! I proudly grabbed an 18 pack of Farm Fresh eggs and made my way to the cashier, that was about mobbed by anxious shoppers. I waited my turn and observed a man being chastised by the cashier. She had even brought in a manager to talk to the gentleman that was arguing about being charged over 3 times what the advertised price said. The manager pulled out an ad and was showing the gentleman that the price of turkeys OVER 20 LB is $1.49 a pound.
I tapped the cashier on the shoulder and asked if mine was over 20 LB and she said yes it was 25 LB. and $1.49 per pound. I grabbed it and ran back to the turkey counter where they never thought they'd see me again and rummaged through the dead birds again. I realized I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of seeing the price or the weight of these dead birds when suddenly, as if she had dropped out of heaven, standing in front of me was the wife of the Rabbi that lives across from me! In a true panic, I said Michele can you read the weight of this bird? She said she had no idea I shopped there and it was 15 LB. She was just glad I was letting go of her arm, I hope I didn't leave a mark! I ran to the cashier as if to say, did I still have my place in line? It was clear that I didn't. I spotted a break in the isle next to mine and walked over to it with my dead frozen bird and her eggs and as I was about to enter that lane, a little lady carrying to 2 quarts of Budweiser smiled and walked in front of me. I thought about knocking her to the ground and going ahead of her, but the Christmas spirit was too strong for me as I smiled, longing to be in her place. At that point I was thinking of killing her for her beer!
As the cashier asked for my VIP card, I thought to myself, I feel like anything but a VIP right this minute, but when she told me that I had purchased a dead turkey and 18 eggs for a whopping $9.53, I rejoiced! Skipping, I made it out to the parking lot where I found my trusty steed, mounting her, I galloped home, a VICTOR!!!
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