Today was the day that I disguised my truck as a landscaper's truck and carried illegal fronds across town to Glendale where they enjoy a more liberal approach to garbage and dumping. My truck is new and until today enjoyed an odometer that read 120 miles. I really had not intended to use refuge for it's "maiden voyage", but a man's got to do what a man's got to do! I loaded up the load of fronds, popped a dew rag on my head and headed to Glendale.
When I arrived, there stood the lovely Julie distraught and just overwhelmed with work. The factory added a new quota to her already overloaded assembly line and none of her employees showed up for work. She was literally beside herself. This woman is a bit on the independent side and wouldn't accept any of my help, but rather told me to unload my cargo and get the hell out of her house. I could see she was in no mood to play with. Since it was so close to dark and her neighbors might object to her offering her address as a city dump, I suggested I wait an hour before unloading my palm fronds into her driveway. She let me inside the house to wait, but I was told in no uncertain terms to keep my mouth shut if I know what's good for me. Julie settled down into her work station and I was fascinated. She had power sources and power tools and screw drivers and lots of way cool things that she gets to play with everyday! Inside I was dying to help. What she doesn't know, is that this is a guys dreamland. Power tools and things to screw and getting paid for it too!
Julie told me that if I was just going to stand around, I might as well help. I was thrilled! I was gonna get to play with all of her toys. She showed me what to do and I immediately took over. This stuff was easy. It was easy for about the first half hour, then it got harder and harder and tougher. As my 61 year old back started giving out, I refused to complain, I was afraid she might make me stop. I had a ball for 5 hours..
Here's what I learned, I learned that my girlfriend is a slave driver and a meaner polecat never walked the Earth calling herself a boss. She repeatedly told me there was going to be no hanky panky tonight, this is WORK, not play. Hell, I like the hanky panky better than power tools!!!
I crawled out of there about 10 PM, unloaded my palm fronds from my truck and drove home. When I got home my slave driver had sent me an email thanking me for my work and asking how I wanted to get paid.. That's when I started thinking about the hanky panky again, hmmm......