Smuggling Palm Fronds Across the Border...

It's a pretty tricky business living here in Arizona. Things are not always as they seem. For example, in my neighborhood we have uncontained trash pick up four times a year and if you miss it, you wait 3 months to eliminate the debris that you have accumulated. We had a horrific winter this last one, and many of the Gay Palms didn't survive it. I refer to the Queen Palms. These Queens tricked us and looked like they were going to make it, but as summer wore on and on and on, they took on a burned look and now the new foliage that grows from their centers, are coming out dead, deceased, history. I originally had about 28 of the lovely Queens and as the summer lead into fall, I've already lost 2 or 3. As the dead fronds wilt and eventually dry up, they sag like am 80 year old woman's breasts and similarly almost touch the ground. They need to be eliminated, but only the fronds! Here lies the tricky part. We just had uncontained trash pick up last month and these babies can't wait another 60 days or longer to be tossed away. I own a pick up truck and I have a close friend that lives on the West side of town in Glendale and Glendale has uncontained trash pick up EVERY month! I was amazed and impressed when I learned this and THAT is one of the main reasons that I continue to see Julie. Her neighborhood's trash habits are WILD!

In our town, we separate the West side from the East side with a street named Central Avenue. It's our border. My job, and it won't be easy, is to smuggle the illegal fronds from the Scottsdale area to Glendale without the law infiltrating my operation. I'll wait until after dark and try to disguise the load of illegal fronds to look like illegal Mexican aliens coming into our country, so nothing looks unusual and that way I'm assured not to be stopped by the authorities either. Hell, that's an everyday occurrence here! Wish me luck!