Thursday, November 1, 2007

The Penis Monologues

Lately, with all of the attention going to the vagina, way too little attention is being paid to the penis, thus my idea of writing the "Penis Monologues".

It all started with my doctor's visit several years ago to my personal physician, Dr. Cedric. To begin with you have to picture Dr. Cedric. He stood about 5' 2" tall and didn't have a hair on his head, sporting a Tennessee accent where he was born and raised. If you can simulate his accent, picture him taking me aside and looking up at me and saying. "Mel, this stuff is Viagra, it's a new social recreational drug for guys our age"! Dr. Cedric was about 5 years younger than me and a true horn dog, constantly boasting about his prowess with young women. He gave me a free 6 pack of the pill and it still exists in my medicine cabinet.

Although, "I never needed it", I tried it and it was the greatest! Now that I'm in my 60's my attention is more drawn to the tiny blue pill. With this pill, I can do things that I couldn't do when I was 16! I'll not bore the reader with examples, but trust in the pill is a good thing. I started asking guys my age if they'd tried it and got exactly the same answer from everyone without exception. "I don't need it". I asked one friend who gave me that answer and I replied with, if you wanted to fly to Florida from AZ, would you use your single engine Cessna or would you prefer the Leer Jet parked in the hanger? With the Leer, you can fly higher and stay in the air longer. With his mouth agape, he asked REALLY?

The pill is a pricey little luxury, it turns out. I approached Dr. Z, my new buddy and asked him for a prescription of Viagra. He said, first he would have to examine me and look at my regiment of drugs and adjust a few things. He did that and finally agreed to letting me have a prescription of 10 pills. I felt like deputy Barnie Fife with one bullet. In spite of the fact that I've health insurance, they wouldn't even touch it and the bill for 10 pills was $124 @ 12 bucks a piece and that was at Wal-Mart. I told Wal-Mart to keep them and ordered them online for waaaay less, about a dollar a pill and they work just as well. I'll be taking my Leer out of the hanger any day now and I WON'T be flying solo!

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