Monday, April 6, 2009

Patio Vespa Scooter Sales...

Once upon a time, there was a woman that I met on one of my dating services. Let's call her Martha, not to be confused with MJ-Martha Jane. Martha was an attractive 52 year old woman who lived close by and shared my religion, which is not too common in these here parts. Although I liked Martha as a person, not so great a romance took place. Fast forward about 3 years and I find myself once again searching the classifieds for a potential wife and whose picture do I run across, but Martha's? The reason that this is so shocking to me, is because Martha met Timmie and 40 something guy that not only swept her off her feet with his long curly hair and charming ways, but he was Bohemian enough to actually LIVE in his truck, that by the way, didn't run! Any superficial person might think of this guy as a bum, but not Martha, she saw romance. Timmie, an unemployed wheelchair repairman (who knew), pretty soon was spending all of his time with Martha at her Squaw Peak abode. Timmie really started feeling at home here at the base of the great mountain and was making some pretty strong moves on Martha, that by this time saw nothing but Bluebirds circling her poor confused head. When Timmie moved in and proposed marriage, Martha just melted and said, "I do"!

They actually had a big shindig, inviting family and friends to the nuptials. A good time was had by all. Particularly Timmie, who by this time was marking things he wanted to find the value of. Although Martha was wise enough to protect her savings, the thing that she worked so hard for, but one's credit is as valuable as their accumulated wealth in some cases and marriage created a merger where they were suddenly both equal. Whatever Timmie charged was suddenly Martha's liability. Like that bar bill at a local tavern for $2500 in just 2 weeks and that $5000 Vespa motor Scooter that sits on my patio waiting for a buyer.

By the time I finally heard back from Martha, she started our reunion call with a long 5 minute cry, telling me in a nutshell of all that she went through, including the divorce, after only 8 months of marriage. I consoled her and told her I thought everything would be okay. Martha is under the impression that I'm some super sales person and can sell anything and has literally begged me to sell her Vespa scooter for her. I told her I would try, if nothing else, I'd at least get it out of her sight, so she doesn't have to look at the reminder everyday. So here the scooter sits on my patio and I field inquiries about it almost everyday. The only legitimate buyer that showed up to see it, was only looking to see if it was something her husband and she would enjoy. She was a very feminine woman and the scooter is black on black on black. Not the cutest choices of colors for a lady. We waved goodbye, my knowing full well that I'd never see her again.

What prompted this story is, I just finished a transaction on the scooter that went something like this: All of this occurred by email, so it took awhile.

BUYER: I'm writing about your scooter for sale. Would you consider $1000 down and $5-600 a month"

ME: Yes, but I'd need to keep possession of the scooter until it was paid for in full.
(ten minutes later)

Buyer: That's fine, I'll need that long to save up a little more money, as I only have $800 and need to get my license.

ME: What is your age?
(ten minutes goes by)

Buyer: 17, why?

ME: Because I need to be dealing with your parents or guardian, as we will be entering into a contract!
(10 more minutes goes by)

Buyer: Okay, thanks for your time.

Back to the patio lot, humph....

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