Wild Rant...

Have you ever noticed how when your world is cut off from reality and you live in a place that dumps tons of isolating snow on you personally, that your world gets smaller? Well, you probably think I'm talking about you, but alas, no it's right here in Scottsdale. Not the kind of snow that gets you up in the middle of the night to shoot raccoons with a BB gun while wearing just your underwear, but the type of isolation that makes you go off on a rant about something as insignificant as your envelopes being stolen 7 and 1/2 years ago. Granted, I don't use a lot of envelopes since the Internet is so prevalent, every month I have to send in a sales tax report to our state and city and only the city provides us with return envelopes. Therefore the state in their cheap ass way, requires us to provide our own envelopes. That amounts to 12 envelopes a year. Here is what happened...

In past years, when we used a lot of envelopes, about 15 a month, I bought them at Costco (naturally) for a gazillion of them for about $7.77. Now that we use so few envelopes, I took out about 30 or 40 envelopes and placed them on the corner of my desk. Last month, after almost 8 years of being divorced from that thief, I ran out of envelopes on my desk. So I went to the closet where they lived in their proud Kirkland box and low and behold, with a shocked look on my face, as I reached for the Kirkland box, knowing full well that I placed it there just 8 or 9 years prior, it was GONE! Just missing. I did a quick inventory in my mind on where it could have gone to. I thought, did I place it in a different closet shelf? Did someone break in and steal my Kirkland envelope running away with them tucked under their arm, leaving cash and jewelry for another day? No, it was an inside job. Suddenly the blurry image of Debra came to mind. I saw her as she really was, an office supply FREAK! She LOVED her office supplies. She would gather her white out, her erasers, her type writer ribbons and just sit there giggling.. I know it was her, or she. (a matter of grammar). I called our local police, but they told me the statute of limitation on envelopes ran out years ago and to just forget it. So I did. I just returned from no other than Walmart, where I found envelopes on sale for 40 for $1.50 and I don't have to lick them. I just pull off a strip that has a secret layer of glue under it. I feel so 21st century. Plus, I thought by going to Wal-mart, I'd at least run into something blog-worthy, but no, nothing ever happened to me. The place is so big that the parking lot was almost full yet the store looked empty. I found employees to be helpful and polite. I was shocked.

I feel better now, thanks....