Sunday, December 23, 2007

A Message from Santa...

The Dynamic Duo's new digs...
Today is the 23rd of December and I had a really busy day of napping and occasional phone calls. Not much of anything else got done. Last night I visited the "Lovely Jules" and we had pizza brought in, Julie's treat and she was gracious enough to let me take home the leftovers. It made for an ample dinner for the three of us, the Dynamic Duo and myself. I'd be willing to bet that 2 Great Danes could go through a large sausage pizza in less than 30 seconds.
I noticed that Julie has a wonderful white down comforter in her room and I commented that it looked warm for this unseasonally cold weather that we're privileged to, this Christmas season. I don't think that 15 hours went by and I got a call from Santa stating he'd already heard through the AZ. grapevine that I like white down comforters and he told me that he was getting me one for Christmas. Then I heard a horn honk and Santa commented that some asshole cut him off in traffic and he was at AJ's and needed to hang up. Santa shops at AJ's???
I called Santa back at AJ's and asked what size he had gotten me and he said, King. I had been sleeping in my guest room for the past 5 months so my larger boy, Bogie wouldn't have to be troubled by the stairs, but it's really not big enough for the three of us and poor Zoie winds up sleeping on the family room sofa alone, which is uncharacteristic for pack animals, such as myself.
As if a light bulb actually lit over my head, I pictured us all asleep under our new white down comforter in my king sized bed. As if I were motivated by God above, I dragged the little twin mattress up the stairs, putting my poor weakened heart at risk, but nobody would come over to help me. Gasping for air, step by step I carried the 300 LB mattress up the 49 steps, to the second floor. As I lay in a puddle on the floor, clutching my chest, thinking of my "Lovely Jules" and how she was probably too busy to help me and that the Lord forgive her as she knows not what she does, I passed out. Fortunately I awakened in time to finish the job and I'm fine now, just a wee bit tired. The job is complete, the room is clean, I even remembered to bring up my shampoo and razor and plugged in the fridge. Now, all I'm waiting for is Santa to bring me my new white down comforter. I'm giving the old one to the Dynamic Duo to play tug-o-war with. It's raunchy!

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