After an afternoon of text bantering with the Lovely Jules, we decided to share a meal last night. I'd been couped up with my latest medical catastrophe and the Lovely Jules was on day 28 of some Voodoo cleanse that makes her fast indefinitely. The text dialogue went something like this. Bear in mind, our combined ages are 111, not 19:
Me: Wanna go to Tutti Santi's?
LJ: GAG!
Me: How about Hispanic food?
LJ: PUKE!
Me: Pizza?
LJ: Yuck, you know I hate pizza...
Me: I can pick up Kentucky Fried Chicken!
LJ: With mashed potatoes and gravy?
Me: We have a winner!!! I'll be there about 8. "Click"
So, after feeding the Dynamic Duo their cookies and ice water, I threw on some clean clothes and splashed the cologne on my face that Jules bought me and headed out the door.
When I got to KFC, there was a long line outside but no one inside, DUH! Climbing out of my car and entering, a cute young girl approached me and took my order. I announced that I was there for dead chicken, she laughed. I ordered 8 pieces of regular recipe and a container of smashed potatoes and gravy.........Period! That's when the girls educational background kicked in. She had obviously been to KFC College. She said, for just a few cents more, I can have cole slaw and hot rolls. I curled up my face like a pirate and got real close to her and said, I don't want no stinking rolls, see? She backed away a little scared but a little entertained. I did offer to buy one of her chocolate chip cakes though. Either way, she managed to get my entire $20 bill and went on to KFC graduate school! I left. She threw in the stinking rolls too!
The ride West on the 101 went rather quickly and I arrived at the Lovely Jules humble abode at about 7:30 and used my key to enter, but wait, what was this? The dead bolt was on and she wasn't answering it. I tried calling her and still nothing. There I stood with Pawpaw barking his head off and no one is answering the door.............and I've got chicken to keep warm! Panic struck and this is not the first time things went this way with the Absent Minded Professor, Julie. She puts on her headphones and just blanks out. She's probably okay, but I still don't want to drive all of the way home...
I even tried to break down the door a little. If that dead bolt was a little weaker, it wouldn't have been my fault, but no, it held just fine.. Putting down my bags of food and leaving them in the doorway, I went around to the gate and saw it was locked with a real lock, so penetration was to be elsewhere. Then I thought, what about hopping over the fence. I'd done it a million times when I was a kid. I wonder if I can still make it. The gate part was a good 7 feet tall and I didn't expect myself to be able to clear that without something to stand on first. I headed back to the front door and thought about using a pot, but it was full of potting soil. Then I saw a patio chair sitting there looking rather inviting. I took it and placed it by the fence. and suddenly my age again popped into my mind and then that time I was laid open by a surgeons saw. Hey, screw it, I can still do it. With one mighty push, I boosted myself up on my hands and pulled my legs over to the interior side of the yard. All I had to do now was clear the jump down... Whoa!! That was higher than I'd planned. I took a quick inventory and no broken bones. Hey, at my age, I could break a hip!
There stood Paw paw laughing at me, as if to say, what took you so long? I walked along to the patio doors and they were opened. I entered and sitting on the sofa, in the dark, with headphones on her head and writing away in her laptop was the "Lovely Jules". I sat down on the sofa next to her and I think about 3 seconds went by before she even noticed me and jumped, startled... Hi, she said. It's early, you said 8 o'clock... I was gasping too hard for air to answer right away, but eventually mouthed the words, "dead bolt"... She was noticeably shaken because she got caught smoking in the house..........again!
We ate chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy and stinking rolls. Julie ate pretty good and staid off the Voodoos for another day. We watched a silly movie on TV and at some point I recall getting down on one knee and proposing marriage to the Lovely Jules. With a big grin on her face, she got up and said a resounding, yes! The nuptials will be performed in about 6 years, as soon as her alimony runs out... At that point, I will be known as the "The Lovely Mel"! (I never even got to taste that cake)!
The Engaged Guy
8/24/08
Me: Wanna go to Tutti Santi's?
LJ: GAG!
Me: How about Hispanic food?
LJ: PUKE!
Me: Pizza?
LJ: Yuck, you know I hate pizza...
Me: I can pick up Kentucky Fried Chicken!
LJ: With mashed potatoes and gravy?
Me: We have a winner!!! I'll be there about 8. "Click"
So, after feeding the Dynamic Duo their cookies and ice water, I threw on some clean clothes and splashed the cologne on my face that Jules bought me and headed out the door.
When I got to KFC, there was a long line outside but no one inside, DUH! Climbing out of my car and entering, a cute young girl approached me and took my order. I announced that I was there for dead chicken, she laughed. I ordered 8 pieces of regular recipe and a container of smashed potatoes and gravy.........Period! That's when the girls educational background kicked in. She had obviously been to KFC College. She said, for just a few cents more, I can have cole slaw and hot rolls. I curled up my face like a pirate and got real close to her and said, I don't want no stinking rolls, see? She backed away a little scared but a little entertained. I did offer to buy one of her chocolate chip cakes though. Either way, she managed to get my entire $20 bill and went on to KFC graduate school! I left. She threw in the stinking rolls too!
The ride West on the 101 went rather quickly and I arrived at the Lovely Jules humble abode at about 7:30 and used my key to enter, but wait, what was this? The dead bolt was on and she wasn't answering it. I tried calling her and still nothing. There I stood with Pawpaw barking his head off and no one is answering the door.............and I've got chicken to keep warm! Panic struck and this is not the first time things went this way with the Absent Minded Professor, Julie. She puts on her headphones and just blanks out. She's probably okay, but I still don't want to drive all of the way home...
I even tried to break down the door a little. If that dead bolt was a little weaker, it wouldn't have been my fault, but no, it held just fine.. Putting down my bags of food and leaving them in the doorway, I went around to the gate and saw it was locked with a real lock, so penetration was to be elsewhere. Then I thought, what about hopping over the fence. I'd done it a million times when I was a kid. I wonder if I can still make it. The gate part was a good 7 feet tall and I didn't expect myself to be able to clear that without something to stand on first. I headed back to the front door and thought about using a pot, but it was full of potting soil. Then I saw a patio chair sitting there looking rather inviting. I took it and placed it by the fence. and suddenly my age again popped into my mind and then that time I was laid open by a surgeons saw. Hey, screw it, I can still do it. With one mighty push, I boosted myself up on my hands and pulled my legs over to the interior side of the yard. All I had to do now was clear the jump down... Whoa!! That was higher than I'd planned. I took a quick inventory and no broken bones. Hey, at my age, I could break a hip!
There stood Paw paw laughing at me, as if to say, what took you so long? I walked along to the patio doors and they were opened. I entered and sitting on the sofa, in the dark, with headphones on her head and writing away in her laptop was the "Lovely Jules". I sat down on the sofa next to her and I think about 3 seconds went by before she even noticed me and jumped, startled... Hi, she said. It's early, you said 8 o'clock... I was gasping too hard for air to answer right away, but eventually mouthed the words, "dead bolt"... She was noticeably shaken because she got caught smoking in the house..........again!
We ate chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy and stinking rolls. Julie ate pretty good and staid off the Voodoos for another day. We watched a silly movie on TV and at some point I recall getting down on one knee and proposing marriage to the Lovely Jules. With a big grin on her face, she got up and said a resounding, yes! The nuptials will be performed in about 6 years, as soon as her alimony runs out... At that point, I will be known as the "The Lovely Mel"! (I never even got to taste that cake)!
The Engaged Guy
8/24/08
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