Sunday, July 4, 2010

A Little Action in my Bed....

I just finished washing the black sheets and putting them back on the king size bed. Whew, of all of the household chores, I probably hate that one the most and admit that I don't change them as often as I should. By the way, how often are you supposed to change the silly things?

You'll never guess who had a lot of action in his bed last night. Right, it was me! Sadly, it wasn't the type of action you were expecting, but action from a creepy source. I read for a couple of hours last night, which is typical for me lately and about 12:30, my Darvon made me feel ready to fall asleep. I switched off the light and got into my favorite sleeping position, Come on, you know what I mean, we all have our favorites. I wasn't even drowsy when suddenly I felt something tickling my arm, that was above the covers. In one continuous motion, I slapped the offending arm and immediately turned on the light to see what I'd smacked. Well, it was too mangled for an exact identification, but from size and color, it was either a fruit fly or an ant. That was my motivation to tear apart the bed for a full, class one inspection. How can you go back to sleep knowing that fruit flies and ants don't travel alone? Nothing found, I put the bedding back into a sleepable condition and turned the light out again and fell into a deep sleep.

At approximately 1:57 AM, something happened that still makes me quiver when I think of it. It must have been warm in the room, between cycles of the air conditioning and from a dead sleep, I felt something crawling up my left leg. Something big enough to awaken me from a deep sleep. With a Chuck Norris Karate chop, I attacked the offender and to my surprise, I hit something, that in the dark made me realize it was sizable! It stuck to my hand as I withdrew it and fell off onto my stomach. My hand immediately felt the moisture from the smashed creature, as I fumbled for the light. In my panic, I knocked the lamp off the table, still in the dark. Falling out of bed to escape the wrath of whatever monster was dying in my bed, I scurried to the fallen lamp (my first time scurrying) and turned it on. That's when I realized I was almost killed by Jiminy Cricket!

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