John Thomas has Passed On...

Around 1980, I met a gentleman named John Thomas. I met him in a business capacity, but we soon developed a personal relationship of lunches and meeting each other's families. Tom, as I soon started calling him, was a used car manager at a local Buick dealership and I owned a used car lot here in Scottsdale, AZ. Over the years we developed a long term relationship that included inviting him to my second wedding and to share weekends and holidays together. Although Tom was about 10 years my senior, that really never entered into the equation.

Tom changed jobs several times and I was right there supporting him, as any friend would. He knew my children well and I knew his wife and kids too. At some point Tom went to work for me, buying cars and we were able to survive that awkward time, as well.

Then around 2004, I was opening my current business and Tom was to drive a truck that he borrowed from me and pick me up at the location that was to be my used car lot. It currently was just an open lot on a hot summer day in Phoenix AZ, it was about 112 degrees that day. I hadn't put up the building yet and there was no escape from the blinding summer heat. Tom didn't show up for 2 hours and when he did, I asked where in the hell he'd been? Tom exploded, jumping out of the moving truck and stamped off and decided to walk home, even though it was about 12 miles. I knew he called his wife for a ride and I was not about to beg him to get back into the truck. That year, many things ensued. Tom's wife developed ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease and quickly died, actually within 30 days she was gone and I had the heart episode that took me out of the game for waaaay too long.

During that time, Tom and I didn't communicate until one day I received an email, something about a monster truck. I wrote back to Tom that "I haven't heard from you in 18 months and all you have to tell me is about some big old truck"? Tom replied that he doesn't even have that email address any longer and he sent that email to me almost 2 years earlier. Sure enough, I checked the date and it was 2 full years old. I thought, the Lord works in mysterious ways! He held off on me getting that email so Tom and I would reunite for some reason. He asked what was new and I told him about my heart episode and replied asking him what was new with him? He said, Fay died! I called him and got the details and made arrangements to meet with him for lunch. He explained to me that he's been suffering from a series of strokes that have left him similar to a man with Alzheimer's disease and he has a really hard time remembering anything. He explained that he's had it for awhile and fay used to be his reminder, but since her death, he's had to write everything down. I told him to write down that he's supposed to meet me for lunch and then made arrangements to meet with him.

Here is something that he didn't tell me. The disease that he suffers from has rendered him a liar. That he doesn't tell the truth about anything and cannot remember places or dates or times. I sat waiting for him for over an hour when he walked in explaining that this is just how his life is now. I wouldn't accept that, but didn't tell him that. I suggested that next time, I'll just pick him up and we'll go to lunch. He agreed.

During our lunch, he told me how he had joined a dating service for seniors and met a woman that lived in Sedona and was deeply in love with her. He'd spent about a month shacked up with her in her Sedona estate and they had big plans for the future. Although I thought it was a little too soon after Fay's death and they had been married for 45 years, I was still happy for him. He never mentioned her again and when I asked him about his new love, he had no idea of what I spoke. Now, I don't know if he lied to me and doesn't remember or if he's forgotten his great new love all together... That's when I kind of realized there wasn't enough of Tom left to be friends with. I guess Tom got some money when Fay passed away, so he went to the Dodge dealership and bought a brand new Dodge Charger GT for cash, in spite of the fact that he already had a new car. Then he met a woman in Florida, online and drove his new car down there and got her and brought her back. I never met her and I'm sure she's very nice, but she's 78 years old!!! Tom is 70.

Tom was calling repeatedly and when I don't return his calls promptly, he comes to my house and beats on the door until I answer. He insisted on making another lunch date with me, even though I knew he wouldn't be able to keep it. Because I agreed, I went to the restaurant and waited 20 minutes for him, then left. Tom either never showed up or was real late and figured I didn't show up. Either way, he's mad at me and hasn't bothered me for quite some time. This was the first time he didn't even send me a Christmas card in years. Although I feel guilty, it's just easier to make believe that the Tom that I knew has passed on...